Family and Relationship


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As I was scrolling through my news feed on my social media page, I came across a motivational quote which said “It’s better to be alone than letting people stress you.” The quote came from a person I knew and who was never easy to live with. This person could come into the place with more than five people, interact with them, and leave them totally disorganized. Thinking about that quote brought a new insight to me regarding the relevancy of people in our lives or the power of inter-relationship.


I have come know that whatever negative reasons we have for not relating to people, an imperfect relationship is better than a non-existent one. This does not only apply to an inborn nature to relate but to a strong or interpersonal relationship which is very important in our lives. That is why I tend to sympathize with people who use a phrase “I am self-made.”  There is nothing like a self -made person. Gifts and talents alone are not enough. Even when God created man in the Garden of Eden, Adam had everything at his disposal, but God also said “It’s not good for a man to be alone.” Whatever man had, he needed a relationship with another human being, which is why I believe that we were created to have inter-relationships.


When I speak about inter-relationship, I am not suggesting that we will not encounter different challenges. Some people are hard to love, to live with, or to please. In the end, we can’t live alone, and we need to learn to live with others. The truth is that people fear disappointment and pain. Moreover, do you ever consider the pain you inflicted on others and realise those people still relate to you? It could be a minor word you spoke unconsciously which caused an emotional damage to other people without your knowledge. Sometimes denial or running away from challenges is not the solution as some issues need to be confronted.


I have also come to believe that sometimes the problem is not the people you deal with, but yourself who is the real problem. This is a hard truth to face but it’s reality. It is very easy to brand other people as ‘bad’ yet we forget to look into our own lives. Someone once said “An unexamined life is not worth living.”


Inter-relationships help us to know what kind of person we are. Dealing with people is like standing in front of a mirror reflecting back to us exactly who we really are. Sometimes people are not hard to love, it’s ourselves who could be unloving.  Sometimes, people we perceive as unfaithful are not but it is ourselves who are unfaithful. Being a bad person with bad qualities may not the problem. In truth, are we willing to grow and change?  Such transformation doesn’t come on the silver platter, but is a decision that we need to take.


Just like a brick has to go through a process to become one, you too will have to go through some disappointing and painful moments, through frustration and stress as you learn to live with people.


People are such amazing creatures, with such diverse personalities, backgrounds and characters, and  it takes a lot of growth in order to learn to relate with them.


Many people have been frustrated and disappointed by others but, if truth be told,  you can never grow, live and be successful without them!


Brian Nyika


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