Family and Relationship

Text Messages from a White Guy (and What to Reply)

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TEXT: “Where were you the last couple of nights? You should have come out with us”
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but, assuming he hasn’t been texting you those last couple of nights, this guy forgot you existed. He went out with his friends or maybe even on dates with a girl he now realizes he’s not into, forgot to be in touch with you, and only now is figuring out he wants to see you. We do this, from time to time; but only with women we have just started seeing.

I like his move here though; I call it the “Jewish Mother.” I call it that, because those readers with Jewish mothers will relate to this story: you’re home for the holidays and your mom says, “You never call me.” And you say, “You know you can call me first right?” But she’s somehow made you feel guilty. That’s this guy’s move. Instead of acknowledging that he hasn’t reached out to you he puts it on you: why haven’t you reached out to him? I’m guessing you can see right through it though.

REPLY: If you haven’t been impressed with him to date (and that’s why you didn’t reach out to him) then ignore. He’ll likely forget about you again. If you’re in a forgiving mood? Try: “Been super busy.” The correct and smartest move on his part is to then overtly ask you out sometime soon in order to make it clear that you have in fact been on his mind. The whole “you should know you’re always welcome to come out with me and my friends” shtick should be given up alongside your futon. It is for the young and foolish and a good man knows the importance of being forward enough to make a plan with a lady.

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