Family and Relationship

Text Messages from a White Guy (and What to Reply)

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TEXT: “Up for a run in 20 min?”
This one is actually quite sweet, if a bit naive. The guy likes you. You’re on his mind a lot. He has even started to fantasize about a life with you (I’ll get back to that in a minute). The bad news is that the life would involve regular couple’s exercise which I personally think is gross. I mean, come on guy, if you’re going to be sweating and out of breath at least have the decency to give the lady an orgasm.

I think some ladies may read this text as a guy being inconsiderate. He gives you a twenty minute heads up? That’s it? Unless you’re both freshmen living down the hall from one another this run ain’t happening. If this is a super busy guy you have been on two dates with then this text means the guy is trying to fit you into his life by any means necessary. And he expects you to be sitting waiting for the opportunity to hang when he is able to. That is indeed a douchey move.

I would like to believe that this is a guy you’re actually seeing though. You’ve slept together and live in the same ‘hood and have done brunch a lot. A run is something not out of the blue. He’s about to go for a run anyway and you’ve been on his mind and wouldn’t it be nice if you guys went for runs together regularly and this became a thing? See? He’s in building-a-life-together mode. So I think it’s well-intentioned.

REPLY: “Would love that. Have plans today but soon?” Acknowledge that he means well but this is reminding him, gently, that a lady needs more advance notice if they are going to meet a gentleman. And if you’re like me and believe couple sweat should be reserved to the bedroom, next time you see him let him down easy and say you take your exercise as a time to clear your head on your own. Or go for a run some time when you’ve both planned it, but the twenty minutes notice is a no-go.

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